3 Ways to Find Magic in Your Everyday Life

You know how there’s people who just don’t “get” you? Now they can. And that’s magical.

I like to do things right. 

I always have. 

In school, I listened to the teacher, I did exactly what she asked and I was rewarded for it. Rows and rows of big, bright, shiny A’s lined my report cards. 

And that made me proud.

But it didn’t necessarily make me happy. 

When we are young, we aren’t really encouraged to push against the edges of expectations, we’re told to sit in our seats and raise our hands and answer the questions. There’s no reward for being different or testing the boundaries–that gets squashed pretty quickly.

We do what we are supposed to do… and in the way we are supposed to do it. 

We wonder why it sometimes feels so hard. And why it seems easy for other people.

There must be something wrong with us. 

But there’s not.

Know Thyself 

Ancient Greeks inscribed, “Know Thyself,” outside the Temple of Apollo at Delphi

You’re just trying to cram yourself into a tight little box of what you are supposed to be. The truth is: That box is really tiny….it’s no wonder you feel unhappy.

But first we need to understand you. This is not a new concept or idea. Knowing yourself, according to the ancient Greeks, was the foundation of life itself. And, truly, that’s where the magic of life happens. When you lean into who you are and the incredible things that make you unique.

1. Get Clear on Who You Are 

What makes you tick? How do you communicate best? What do you not like?

👆🏻 All of those are great questions to ask yourself. But wouldn’t it be great if the people in our world knew how you’d answer?

Can we talk about that phone, though?

Remember those user guides you used to get when you bought a new computer? They were these booklets that explained how all the buttons worked. Anytime you got the dreaded hourglass or that rainbow wheel that kept spinning and spinning (and spinning) you could pull out your handy-dandy guide and solve the problem.

What if you had a user guide? Do you think that would make it easier for people in your world to work with you? And when I say work, I include live, play, eat, and co-habitat with you. 😂

A few years ago, I created a user guide for how to work with me. Only I called it a Leadership Guide because that sounded fancier. But what I found was: 

After I gave people this simple one-page document, my frustration level went down about 20 notches. 

Suddenly, everyone seemed to “get” me. Life became easier because the guide acknowledges my strengths and it definitely calls attention to my weaknesses. Here, check it out:

Feel free to steal this idea. And then, do what I did. I asked everyone on my team to create one too. Now every day does feel magical because we all “get” one another.

2. Get Clear on What You Want 

What if you could find an easy way to figure out what everyone really wants (including you!)

No need for a crystal ball. You can simply ask them. 

But that does seem awfully open-ended. Which means you’ll just get a lot of confused, open-mouth stares. People often don’t know exactly what they really want or they aren’t sure how to put it into words.

I have a quick 4 minute video walking you through a simple exercise to help make this easier:

Now I know this video talks about doing this activity with your team, but I actually found it extraordinarily helpful when I did this for myself as well. It gives me so much clarity, that I do this for myself at least once a year as I’m planning for my year ahead. It tells me where I want to lean into and what I need to let go of.

3. Get Clear on What To Let Go 

And speaking of letting go… what if we let go of comparing ourselves? Listen, we all do it. It’s not our fault, it’s the damn mirror neurons in our brains.

You know how yawns are contagious? Or how when someone throws up, you think you might throw up too? Yep, that’s our mirror neurons. 

Don’t get me wrong, mirror neurons are great, it’s what helps us feel connected to other people… but it also can cause us to engage in the unhealthy sport of comparisonism. I’m a gold-medalist in the Olympic sport of comparing myself… keep in mind competition is one of my top strengths (and as we talked about on the podcast all strengths have a shadow side).

When you get clear on WHO you are and WHAT you want, it’s easier to LET GO so we can stop feeling:

• Inadequate: Their life is so much better than mine.

• Alone: Everyone seems to have it all figured out. What’s wrong with me?

• Judgmental: I’m not doing it right.

When you release the feeling of “nobody gets me” it allows you to step fully into the best version of you. Which means, everyone gets to experience your magic.

I just realized that’s 2 weeks in a row I’ve mentioned the word magic. Man, 👆🏻this lady who left a one-star review of my book would be scathing mad. But, luckily, I don’t care. If a Harry Potter reference makes you toss a book in the trash, you definitely don’t get me. 

See? It’s so much easier to let things go once you really know thyself. A few years ago, that review probably would have kept me up at night…

The Old Practice: Feel frustrated that nobody seems to “get” you and wonder if there’s something wrong with you.

The New Practice: Unapologetically allowing your strengths to shine and doing things in the way that actually fits your strengths.

Resources To Help

Find Your Superpowers - You know what makes it easier for people to “get” you? If YOU get YOU first. 😂 And the easiest way to make that happen is this quick activity I created for you.

The Power of Strengths (and Weaknesses) Podcast Episode

Want to understand your strengths even more? Make sure to listen to last week’s podcast episode on your favorite podcast player or watch it right here:

Questions to Ask Yourself

What am I good at? No, what am I really good at?

What is it I want? From my job, from my life, from my family?

What makes me feel inadequate? Can I let go of whatever that is?

Here’s the truth: No one can “get” you if YOU don’t get you. Take some time today to appreciate you… when you understand a bit more about how you tick, that’s truly when the magic happens.

I hope this article helps today. It really is the small things that make the biggest difference. After all, it’s Not Rocket Science.

Your feedback is important to me, so if you enjoyed this post, please hit the ❤️ and let me know.

3 Random (Fun) Things

Here’s a few things I’ve been doing, thinking, or reading about this week…

🤔 What’s Got Me Thinking: I loved this post by

Dandelion Seeds: Illustrated Essays The way she describes how she tells time was beautifully written. Her gorgeous hand painted illustrations and her storytelling make my inbox a very happy place.  

🤩 Obsessed With: I might have mentioned in the podcast that, according to Clifton Strengths, competition is one of my top 5 strengths so it’s no surprise that I’m super competitive with John when it comes to our morning Wordle and Connections. My daughter, Kay, introduced me to a brand new NYT game - Strands. I like that it’s deceivingly simple but challenging. I find starting off my morning with a few brain games (and a little competition) puts me in a good mood. Definitely a key part of my morning ritual.

😴 Helping Me Sleep: Every time I hear that someone is having a hard time either falling asleep or having trouble going back to sleep in the middle of the night, I share this sleep meditation from Insight Timer. It’s a Yoga Nidra style meditation (which always helps quiet my mind) and the woman’s voice is so soothing I feel like I could listen to her for hours. But I don’t… since it almost always helps me drift off to sleep which is exactly what I wanted.