We’ve had 6 weeks here on Substack and so far I am really happy with this new platform… but I want to hear from YOU. What do you think?
What topics do you want us to dive into? What podcast topics would you love to hear? Is there anything you think would make these discussion threads better and more engaging? What would you like?
This is definitely something a lot of people struggle with (especially women). I think this would be a great topic to dive into - I talk about it in On Purpose (chapter 2, I think) but I'd love to talk about this even more! Thanks so much for the idea...I'm adding it to my list.
Funnily enough I used On Purpose to do just that! And I doubled my salary 😆 It gave me the confidence to go for a big promotion even though my brain was telling me my CV wasn’t good enough
Hello Tanya -- this is a poignant question and really hits home. I'd like to take my considerable skills and great career to align more with my values and continue to work for another 5-10 years. I suppose my question is similar to what Kyia Clayton is asking as well. I will take a look at Chapter 2 of On Purpose. Thanks for asking the question that has been rattling around in my head. :)
I have a daily schedule/plan for my day of tasks I want/need to complete for the day. My struggle is I’m so focused on getting stuff done that there is little wiggle room for spontaneity and my days feel like Groundhog Day. It's almost like I've become too rigid. Often I look back at my day, and while I’ve accomplished a lot, much of it seems meaningless. As we sit and enjoy our coffee, I’d love to discuss embracing the ebb and flow of life that includes time for getting stuff done, living a creative life, and being present family member.
I know exactly what you mean - making room for spontaneity and creativity is really important. I like this idea - I think this would be great to dive into on the podcast!
I agree with this!! Finding the balance between wanting to have everything scheduled so you know you're moving forward with your big goals but also wanting to have a little spontaneity in the day is a tricky balance.
I would ask you Tanya about how you manage your day to days so that you achieve your goals. I am finding that I am gradually progressing in my goals but often my days don’t contain the intentional time that I want. I let tiredness draw me into watching too much TV, which means I don’t go to bed early enough, which means I don’t start my mornings early enough. It’s a perennial problem for me!
Hey Hannah, I’m curious- what do you mean by “intentional” time? Do you mean something like being present with your loved ones, or doing something that’s on your heart to do, or…?
I’m pretty good at spending time with the kids so it’s more after they are in bed. I would like to get into a good routine so I spend a little time working on my goals but also wind down for bed and get to sleep in good time.
That feeling of being braindead at the end of the day is very real. And a lot of times that's why we default to the mindless stuff (scrolling, watching tv, etc). I don't know if it's helpful, but I do have an old video of my nightly routine here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54G0f9d2HUI
I like the idea of talking about this especially in conjunction with Amy's question above (she talked about the need to create time for spontaneity). I think those 2 things feel contrarian to each other, but when we have both there's more overall harmony... this has me thinking about doing an episode where we look at both f those ideas....
Thanks Tanya - video was really good, gave me some ideas. I said to my husband this morning that we could do with getting our kids to help out more now they are a little older, so like the idea of giving them a little kitchen job each. I also thought it would be better to get ready for bed much earlier so I’m less tired when I do it. I’m going to sit down with the family next week as we have the week off together and work out a routine. I think planning weirdly helps with spontaneity as by internationally creating white space in your diary and making sure your must dos get done, you leave time and mental space to just have fun. I’m also thinking about weekly and monthly routines as I feel so much better all week if at the weekend we get the house straightened up and we also get in a family walk. We rarely go on dates so a monthly routine of planning one date night without kids I reckon would make it happen. Can’t wait for the episode!
Also as an aside I did really well at work this week. My colleague presented a project we have been working on to senior management and they loved it - and then my boss sent me a thank you with a little voucher gift 😊 So nice to be appreciated!
I'm glad the video helped Hannah! I like, too, that you are sitting down with your family and work on the routine together--I think that makes all the difference bc then they have buy-in.
Congrats on your project - it's always nice to be appreciated! I'm glad it was a good week!
As a piggy-back to this, one thing I’ve been having an impossible time figuring out is when to do my pm reflection/next-day setup. I KNOW how important it is #tanya dalton #brendanburchard, but the problem is that I don’t REALLY stop my day until 7 pm (and all those minutes from getting done teaching to 7pm are actually already in full use, including TimeBlocking and all the good productive things), because if I stop at all before I’m actually done, I won’t start again (I’m dealing with major energy issues as I discovered I’m perimenopausal). But then once I actually DO stop, I’m done, mentally, physically, all the -allys, really. Which is challenging because I’m currently listening to your podcast from the beginning and I’m actually enlisting a lot of what you suggest, and it’s been super helpful. I’ve batched tasks on specific days, I’ve delegated some of the chores that I can, I’ve simplified things as much as I really think I can, but I canNOT for the life of me figure out how to carve 5-15 more minutes in my day for the daily download you discuss as being so very important, which it is. (Good lord do I sound like I’m making excuses??)
Ah! I’m so curious what Tanya’s thoughts are on this, being the master of productivity 🤩.
I love that you can “own” the fact that you’re good at spending time with your kiddos. As mom’s, sometimes life messes with us and we can easily feel like NOTHING we do is “enough.” So, right on, girl! 👋🏽
The bedtime thing is legit for me, too. I’ve found I have to be in bed at a decent time or I’m “off” the next day. I also find that, for me, there’s a short window of time when having the tv on is ok. It’s usually like 7:30pm or so, when all my other stuff is done and settled, and I don’t have much energy to give to anything else anymore. Then I have about an hour or so before I’m maxed out with that, and then ready to start my bedtime routine. For me, that involves the typical face washing/teeth brushing deal-e-o, but then a simple journaling or writing as I sit up in bed. That helps me wind down. Oh- and sometimes a quick audio bedtime mediation as I’m laying there (the Headspace app has some good ones).
- Something that’s worked well for me, and it might be useful to you, is two things: pay attention to the bedtime that feels best to you, then how long your desired bedtime routine typically takes so you know what time to “start” the process.
Then, also pay attention to how much time in the evening you’d want to devote to that time you were looking for (the intentional time). If you’re anything like *most* people, once you turn the tv on, it’s game over. So, get your window of intentional time
in before the tv time. Even if you start your intentional time at a shorter length. Just prove to yourself that you can set that time aside, and in that, you’ll build momentum AND confidence 💪🏽👋🏽.
THEN, see how much time you’d have left between the end of your intentional time until your desired bedtime. That empty “window” then becomes any tv/screen time you might want to wind down with. (Although, keep in mind, too much of it will mess with your brain and it makes it harder to sleep well ;) ).
Those are a few ideas, but take what’s helpful and leave the rest!
I also commented on another person’s post in this thread, so if you want, check that out and see if there’s anything helpful for you there. :)
Start small- build confidence. And at the end of the day, like in the words of the great poet Bob Marley, remember “… every little thing is gonna be alright.” 🎵 😊
Thanks Amanda! I am the parent who likes to roughhouse and be silly with them which is great but often I lose track of time and it’s past their bed time 😬 Some great ideas - I am beginning to think that I should just leave TV for the weekend. For half the week I don’t get home from work until around 7 so it’s already quite late and on other days I am either going out with friends or taking my son to beavers. So I often don’t get a huge window in the evenings. I think when I plan my routines I need to do a longer version and a short one I can do in an hour when I am home later. I think you are right that I need to consistently set time aside - I think the resistance will go the more routine it becomes.
Hi Anna - yes it’s an idea I have come across before but haven’t yet tried - a low energy or low time version of a routine. So for me I’m thinking that to make exercising a habit in the morning I will allow myself to do 5 minutes of stretching if I am short of time so at least it becomes a habit. Also one thought I had which sounds like it applies to you is to move things to the morning if you are really tight for time or energy in the evening. Maybe you need to just allow yourself to wind down and do nothing in the evenings and then wake a little earlier in the morning to do the download?
I’m active duty Air Force, and trying to find work/life balance is difficult, and trying to implement any kind of routine or set up “time blocking” is impossible .
Is there anything you can share that can help calm down the crazy that’s a “day in the life” of an active duty fighter aircraft maintenance section chief (civilian translation: division supervisor, culture coordinator for 70+ personnel in a dynamic, fast-paced environment)?
This is such a great question Emily. I'd love to know more about why setting up routines and time blocking is impossible. I can imagine that there's a lot of urgent fires that happen especially on an Air Force Base! Not to mention the fact that you are managing a large number of personnel... I think this could make a really interesting article or podcast episode, but I also want to make sure I don't just hand out blanket advice by making assumptions. If you have a chance, can you give me some more details?
Absolutely! I'll do my best, but please let me know if I can provide for clarification or anything.
It really boils down to a combination of the jets do what they want, there's a ton of people that I'm responsible for...and not just their work performance, I have to track their fitness, medical readiness, their training, and whatever life drama they have.
Like I mentioned to Amanda, I've earned the title "Mom" for the "kids" in my section because 90% of them are 18, 19 years old, away from home for the first time and not only trying to figure out to how maintain a $51M aircraft with minimal guidance, but they're also trying to figure out how to "life", so I have to guide them thru things they should have been taught before they left home. (Funny story that will paint the picture: had to teach two guys how to make taco meat on a hot plate in the snack bar for Taco Tuesday...they've never made taco meat before. They also managed to set the hot pad on fire... I could go on and on with examples of "mom-ing" these kids.)
And when they screw something up on the job, I have to answer to that in an "RCA" (root cause analysis), which has basically turned into a CSI investigation...which takes me away from doing the 256782209 other things I have to do.
Then we have meetings upon meeting upon meetings we have to prepare for and attend. And we get "last second taskers" from leadership all the time.
And we have to adjust shift schedules on a regular basis to match what times the jets are flying...and we have to deconflict medical appointments, training, and leave, and weekend duties for not only ourselves and leadership, but for the people working for us.
I've tried to close the door for an hour at a time a few times to I could actually focus on the monthly/quarterly/annual awards or annual performance reports or something and because of the dynamic environment I work in, someone is always knocking on the door because something weird happened. Johnny may had hit his head on the jet (again) and need to get evaluated for concussion, or Billy may have lost a tool or left his toolbox unsecure, or Quality Assurance wants to come in a brief me on an inspection they did, or leadership has a question or some last second thing to handle, like, yesterday.
And because we're so connected with smartphones, just because I leave the building to go home doesn't mean I don't stop getting messages or calls about stuff...even if it's just a "heads up" about something so I don't get blind-sided when I come in...
Although it's not a written rule, leadership doesn't like it when we don't have an answer immediately for something that happened at 2am when we come in for the 7am meeting.
There are entirely too many things that need to get done, and not enough people in my position to share that burden with, or enough time in the day.
For the sake of my own sanity, I have made a habit of creating my own priorities when leadership doesn't give a priority or deadline (because everything is a priority, so nothing is a priority), based on which is the most impactful for the mission. Usually that works, sometimes it backfires.
I'm not sure if that helps clarify anything. Please let me know. Even though I'm a few months from retirement, if I can pass something on to my peers to help them, I'd love it. It would probably be better if section chiefs (my position) don't find comfort in the comradery of comparing which anxiety medication we're on or who has the grayest hair from this position.
Emily, one thing I really recommend if you’re a new listener to the podcast is to go back to the very beginning and listen from Tanya’s very first episode. She starts from scratch and it’s been A. MAZE. ING to complete the activities that she suggests. I’m a high school credit recovery teacher and fully believed I had done everything already to focus my day (which wasn’t really focused at all). The first main activity Tanya walks you thru is writing a mission statement based on your values and roles in your life. Doing that simple activity showed me I was NOT being the teacher I want to be, and completely revamped how I organize my days, my grading, everything. It allowed me to find times where my door is shut, even to admin (to his chagrin). Just a thought, in addition to anything Tanya recommends specifically for you. AND thank you for your service!
First- thank you for your Service! We are a very proud Air Force family as well, so I can feel all your thoughts/concerns here. 💙🇺🇸
My husband has been Active for 20 years. We’ve seen a lot along the way, and we’ve lived both the Enlisted and the Officer side. I say that just to tell you that I’m pretty familiar with the ins/outs of military life. :) It’s not for the faint of heart. ;)
My personal background is in organizational leadership with a focus on servant leadership, so my thoughts stem from that angle. In fact, a few years ago I was able to visit with the then Command Chief of US Air Forces in Europe and Africa, and we had an amazing discussion on servant leadership/the military life.
I can tell you this, as a LEADER- one of your primary focuses should be on the hearts and minds of your people. If you want to influence culture and lead real, life-shifting change AND impact performance and effectiveness, go after your people’s hearts. Not shop talk; make time for real life talk. How’s their family? When are their birthdays? How many kids do they have and when are THEIR special days? Open up about YOUR life a little…
It seems simple, but it’s always the SIMPLE, human connections that make the difference. Over your career, I’m sure you can look back and find that to be true, also. ;)
I noticed you mentioned your hardships with time blocking.
For sure. I 100% can see why!
(Wait? What?! You can’t control when the F15 needs attention STAT…?!? Or- you can’t control that your Airmen needs emergency leave and now you need to re-attack schedules?! - What?! What kind of operation are you running?! 🤣😂 OBVIOUSLY just kidding!!)
But that’s REAL LIFE for you, right?
I always say that it’s best to work with the things you CAN control. The fact is, you CAN’T control those moving parts. What you CAN control (as backwards as this may sound) is your *flexibility.*
Become the “master of the pivot,” as I like to say.
You’re in that job for a reason.
Believe in your ability to figure things out on the fly.
Adapt and Overcome, right? 😉
I know this is getting to be a super long message, and you mentioned something about work/life balance, too. If you’d like me to toss more thoughts (or even just a virtual high-five👋🏽), feel free to reach out to me. Whatever I/my family has as far as experience, I will offer it to you. We’re on the same team, girl! 💪🏽🇺🇸👋🏽
Thanks Amanda! Yes, I've been baptized in "pivot" lol and have earned the rare title of "Mom" for my people at work. The work "kids" are my absolute focus, cuz we can't do this without them. But holy moly. I've been a section chief for going on 6 years and while I can get into a rhythm sometimes, I have been unable to figure out a real-world system to implement for the daily grind to help bring a bit of sanity.
I appreciate everything you, your husband and your family bring to the team! Thanks for sharing!
One thing that I’ve been struggling with is that I know I want a different career (I’m in teaching), one that fills my soul and heart and also provides the emotional and psychological needs I have for a job; I know what I want my life to look like in 10 years, viscerally and down to some real specific details. I don’t know how to get there. I’ve been working with a life coach who I will be leaving once I’m done with my sessions who’s literal response to my 10 year vision was, “Okay, now you need to create a road map and action plan.” I was like, “….huh?…That’s what I’m paying you for, to help me figure this out because I don’t know how to get from here to there.” And he said, “Well, I can’t really help you because this is the stuff that has to come from your soul.” Needless to say, I was very frustrated. So I would love to hear your thoughts on getting from your current reality to your 10 year vision when you know you want to leave careers, create a different one, but have literally no idea what that career would be, how to go about thinking about discovering/creating that career using your values and what not, and then how to create an action plan/road map for those big changes.
It interesting reading all the comments. I’m fairly organized and I’m realizing what I’m good at in life. Except sometimes I get that feeling I’m missing out. I would want to chat with you, Tanya, how to work through these feelings.
I think you'll like the download I'm getting ready for this week Jane! I get that feeling of missing out - what I find (for me) is that when I feel like I'm missing out it's usually because I'm trying to do things that don't actually even align with what I'm good at. It's that feeling of "should" (oh, I should do more of this... or I should be better about that). Do you think that might be the same for you? I have found that when I take the things I'm good at and go deeper with them and spend more time on what I actually love and enjoy, I feel less of the missing out. I wonder if you feel the same?
Thanks Tanya, yes your comments completely resonate with me. For the last three years I’ve been trying to be a higher level family law paralegal; however I realize that I LOVE being hybrid role. I love organizing, filing and organizing lawyer’s calendar. Part of me still feels the FOMO, but I feel happy too doing my current role assisting one lawyer.
Moving forward with fear present.
How to sell yourself based on what you’re capable of not necessarily what you’ve got on your resume.
This is definitely something a lot of people struggle with (especially women). I think this would be a great topic to dive into - I talk about it in On Purpose (chapter 2, I think) but I'd love to talk about this even more! Thanks so much for the idea...I'm adding it to my list.
Funnily enough I used On Purpose to do just that! And I doubled my salary 😆 It gave me the confidence to go for a big promotion even though my brain was telling me my CV wasn’t good enough
I love this so much. Seriously, kudos to you on making it happen!!
Thanks Tanya!
Hello Tanya -- this is a poignant question and really hits home. I'd like to take my considerable skills and great career to align more with my values and continue to work for another 5-10 years. I suppose my question is similar to what Kyia Clayton is asking as well. I will take a look at Chapter 2 of On Purpose. Thanks for asking the question that has been rattling around in my head. :)
I have a daily schedule/plan for my day of tasks I want/need to complete for the day. My struggle is I’m so focused on getting stuff done that there is little wiggle room for spontaneity and my days feel like Groundhog Day. It's almost like I've become too rigid. Often I look back at my day, and while I’ve accomplished a lot, much of it seems meaningless. As we sit and enjoy our coffee, I’d love to discuss embracing the ebb and flow of life that includes time for getting stuff done, living a creative life, and being present family member.
I know exactly what you mean - making room for spontaneity and creativity is really important. I like this idea - I think this would be great to dive into on the podcast!
I agree with this!! Finding the balance between wanting to have everything scheduled so you know you're moving forward with your big goals but also wanting to have a little spontaneity in the day is a tricky balance.
I would ask you Tanya about how you manage your day to days so that you achieve your goals. I am finding that I am gradually progressing in my goals but often my days don’t contain the intentional time that I want. I let tiredness draw me into watching too much TV, which means I don’t go to bed early enough, which means I don’t start my mornings early enough. It’s a perennial problem for me!
Hey Hannah, I’m curious- what do you mean by “intentional” time? Do you mean something like being present with your loved ones, or doing something that’s on your heart to do, or…?
💙 - Amanda
I’m pretty good at spending time with the kids so it’s more after they are in bed. I would like to get into a good routine so I spend a little time working on my goals but also wind down for bed and get to sleep in good time.
That feeling of being braindead at the end of the day is very real. And a lot of times that's why we default to the mindless stuff (scrolling, watching tv, etc). I don't know if it's helpful, but I do have an old video of my nightly routine here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54G0f9d2HUI
I like the idea of talking about this especially in conjunction with Amy's question above (she talked about the need to create time for spontaneity). I think those 2 things feel contrarian to each other, but when we have both there's more overall harmony... this has me thinking about doing an episode where we look at both f those ideas....
Thanks Tanya - video was really good, gave me some ideas. I said to my husband this morning that we could do with getting our kids to help out more now they are a little older, so like the idea of giving them a little kitchen job each. I also thought it would be better to get ready for bed much earlier so I’m less tired when I do it. I’m going to sit down with the family next week as we have the week off together and work out a routine. I think planning weirdly helps with spontaneity as by internationally creating white space in your diary and making sure your must dos get done, you leave time and mental space to just have fun. I’m also thinking about weekly and monthly routines as I feel so much better all week if at the weekend we get the house straightened up and we also get in a family walk. We rarely go on dates so a monthly routine of planning one date night without kids I reckon would make it happen. Can’t wait for the episode!
Also as an aside I did really well at work this week. My colleague presented a project we have been working on to senior management and they loved it - and then my boss sent me a thank you with a little voucher gift 😊 So nice to be appreciated!
I'm glad the video helped Hannah! I like, too, that you are sitting down with your family and work on the routine together--I think that makes all the difference bc then they have buy-in.
Congrats on your project - it's always nice to be appreciated! I'm glad it was a good week!
Thanks Tanya! Looking forward to the next episode
As a piggy-back to this, one thing I’ve been having an impossible time figuring out is when to do my pm reflection/next-day setup. I KNOW how important it is #tanya dalton #brendanburchard, but the problem is that I don’t REALLY stop my day until 7 pm (and all those minutes from getting done teaching to 7pm are actually already in full use, including TimeBlocking and all the good productive things), because if I stop at all before I’m actually done, I won’t start again (I’m dealing with major energy issues as I discovered I’m perimenopausal). But then once I actually DO stop, I’m done, mentally, physically, all the -allys, really. Which is challenging because I’m currently listening to your podcast from the beginning and I’m actually enlisting a lot of what you suggest, and it’s been super helpful. I’ve batched tasks on specific days, I’ve delegated some of the chores that I can, I’ve simplified things as much as I really think I can, but I canNOT for the life of me figure out how to carve 5-15 more minutes in my day for the daily download you discuss as being so very important, which it is. (Good lord do I sound like I’m making excuses??)
Ah! I’m so curious what Tanya’s thoughts are on this, being the master of productivity 🤩.
I love that you can “own” the fact that you’re good at spending time with your kiddos. As mom’s, sometimes life messes with us and we can easily feel like NOTHING we do is “enough.” So, right on, girl! 👋🏽
The bedtime thing is legit for me, too. I’ve found I have to be in bed at a decent time or I’m “off” the next day. I also find that, for me, there’s a short window of time when having the tv on is ok. It’s usually like 7:30pm or so, when all my other stuff is done and settled, and I don’t have much energy to give to anything else anymore. Then I have about an hour or so before I’m maxed out with that, and then ready to start my bedtime routine. For me, that involves the typical face washing/teeth brushing deal-e-o, but then a simple journaling or writing as I sit up in bed. That helps me wind down. Oh- and sometimes a quick audio bedtime mediation as I’m laying there (the Headspace app has some good ones).
- Something that’s worked well for me, and it might be useful to you, is two things: pay attention to the bedtime that feels best to you, then how long your desired bedtime routine typically takes so you know what time to “start” the process.
Then, also pay attention to how much time in the evening you’d want to devote to that time you were looking for (the intentional time). If you’re anything like *most* people, once you turn the tv on, it’s game over. So, get your window of intentional time
in before the tv time. Even if you start your intentional time at a shorter length. Just prove to yourself that you can set that time aside, and in that, you’ll build momentum AND confidence 💪🏽👋🏽.
THEN, see how much time you’d have left between the end of your intentional time until your desired bedtime. That empty “window” then becomes any tv/screen time you might want to wind down with. (Although, keep in mind, too much of it will mess with your brain and it makes it harder to sleep well ;) ).
Those are a few ideas, but take what’s helpful and leave the rest!
I also commented on another person’s post in this thread, so if you want, check that out and see if there’s anything helpful for you there. :)
Start small- build confidence. And at the end of the day, like in the words of the great poet Bob Marley, remember “… every little thing is gonna be alright.” 🎵 😊
Wishing you all the best!
Amanda Fellows:)
Thanks Amanda! I am the parent who likes to roughhouse and be silly with them which is great but often I lose track of time and it’s past their bed time 😬 Some great ideas - I am beginning to think that I should just leave TV for the weekend. For half the week I don’t get home from work until around 7 so it’s already quite late and on other days I am either going out with friends or taking my son to beavers. So I often don’t get a huge window in the evenings. I think when I plan my routines I need to do a longer version and a short one I can do in an hour when I am home later. I think you are right that I need to consistently set time aside - I think the resistance will go the more routine it becomes.
Oooooo. I REALLY like the idea of 2 different pm routines! 1 for when I’m feeling it, 1 for when I’m not. Very intriguing!
Hi Anna - yes it’s an idea I have come across before but haven’t yet tried - a low energy or low time version of a routine. So for me I’m thinking that to make exercising a habit in the morning I will allow myself to do 5 minutes of stretching if I am short of time so at least it becomes a habit. Also one thought I had which sounds like it applies to you is to move things to the morning if you are really tight for time or energy in the evening. Maybe you need to just allow yourself to wind down and do nothing in the evenings and then wake a little earlier in the morning to do the download?
I’m active duty Air Force, and trying to find work/life balance is difficult, and trying to implement any kind of routine or set up “time blocking” is impossible .
Is there anything you can share that can help calm down the crazy that’s a “day in the life” of an active duty fighter aircraft maintenance section chief (civilian translation: division supervisor, culture coordinator for 70+ personnel in a dynamic, fast-paced environment)?
This is such a great question Emily. I'd love to know more about why setting up routines and time blocking is impossible. I can imagine that there's a lot of urgent fires that happen especially on an Air Force Base! Not to mention the fact that you are managing a large number of personnel... I think this could make a really interesting article or podcast episode, but I also want to make sure I don't just hand out blanket advice by making assumptions. If you have a chance, can you give me some more details?
Absolutely! I'll do my best, but please let me know if I can provide for clarification or anything.
It really boils down to a combination of the jets do what they want, there's a ton of people that I'm responsible for...and not just their work performance, I have to track their fitness, medical readiness, their training, and whatever life drama they have.
Like I mentioned to Amanda, I've earned the title "Mom" for the "kids" in my section because 90% of them are 18, 19 years old, away from home for the first time and not only trying to figure out to how maintain a $51M aircraft with minimal guidance, but they're also trying to figure out how to "life", so I have to guide them thru things they should have been taught before they left home. (Funny story that will paint the picture: had to teach two guys how to make taco meat on a hot plate in the snack bar for Taco Tuesday...they've never made taco meat before. They also managed to set the hot pad on fire... I could go on and on with examples of "mom-ing" these kids.)
And when they screw something up on the job, I have to answer to that in an "RCA" (root cause analysis), which has basically turned into a CSI investigation...which takes me away from doing the 256782209 other things I have to do.
Then we have meetings upon meeting upon meetings we have to prepare for and attend. And we get "last second taskers" from leadership all the time.
And we have to adjust shift schedules on a regular basis to match what times the jets are flying...and we have to deconflict medical appointments, training, and leave, and weekend duties for not only ourselves and leadership, but for the people working for us.
I've tried to close the door for an hour at a time a few times to I could actually focus on the monthly/quarterly/annual awards or annual performance reports or something and because of the dynamic environment I work in, someone is always knocking on the door because something weird happened. Johnny may had hit his head on the jet (again) and need to get evaluated for concussion, or Billy may have lost a tool or left his toolbox unsecure, or Quality Assurance wants to come in a brief me on an inspection they did, or leadership has a question or some last second thing to handle, like, yesterday.
And because we're so connected with smartphones, just because I leave the building to go home doesn't mean I don't stop getting messages or calls about stuff...even if it's just a "heads up" about something so I don't get blind-sided when I come in...
Although it's not a written rule, leadership doesn't like it when we don't have an answer immediately for something that happened at 2am when we come in for the 7am meeting.
There are entirely too many things that need to get done, and not enough people in my position to share that burden with, or enough time in the day.
For the sake of my own sanity, I have made a habit of creating my own priorities when leadership doesn't give a priority or deadline (because everything is a priority, so nothing is a priority), based on which is the most impactful for the mission. Usually that works, sometimes it backfires.
I'm not sure if that helps clarify anything. Please let me know. Even though I'm a few months from retirement, if I can pass something on to my peers to help them, I'd love it. It would probably be better if section chiefs (my position) don't find comfort in the comradery of comparing which anxiety medication we're on or who has the grayest hair from this position.
Emily, one thing I really recommend if you’re a new listener to the podcast is to go back to the very beginning and listen from Tanya’s very first episode. She starts from scratch and it’s been A. MAZE. ING to complete the activities that she suggests. I’m a high school credit recovery teacher and fully believed I had done everything already to focus my day (which wasn’t really focused at all). The first main activity Tanya walks you thru is writing a mission statement based on your values and roles in your life. Doing that simple activity showed me I was NOT being the teacher I want to be, and completely revamped how I organize my days, my grading, everything. It allowed me to find times where my door is shut, even to admin (to his chagrin). Just a thought, in addition to anything Tanya recommends specifically for you. AND thank you for your service!
Hey Emily!
First- thank you for your Service! We are a very proud Air Force family as well, so I can feel all your thoughts/concerns here. 💙🇺🇸
My husband has been Active for 20 years. We’ve seen a lot along the way, and we’ve lived both the Enlisted and the Officer side. I say that just to tell you that I’m pretty familiar with the ins/outs of military life. :) It’s not for the faint of heart. ;)
My personal background is in organizational leadership with a focus on servant leadership, so my thoughts stem from that angle. In fact, a few years ago I was able to visit with the then Command Chief of US Air Forces in Europe and Africa, and we had an amazing discussion on servant leadership/the military life.
I can tell you this, as a LEADER- one of your primary focuses should be on the hearts and minds of your people. If you want to influence culture and lead real, life-shifting change AND impact performance and effectiveness, go after your people’s hearts. Not shop talk; make time for real life talk. How’s their family? When are their birthdays? How many kids do they have and when are THEIR special days? Open up about YOUR life a little…
It seems simple, but it’s always the SIMPLE, human connections that make the difference. Over your career, I’m sure you can look back and find that to be true, also. ;)
I noticed you mentioned your hardships with time blocking.
For sure. I 100% can see why!
(Wait? What?! You can’t control when the F15 needs attention STAT…?!? Or- you can’t control that your Airmen needs emergency leave and now you need to re-attack schedules?! - What?! What kind of operation are you running?! 🤣😂 OBVIOUSLY just kidding!!)
But that’s REAL LIFE for you, right?
I always say that it’s best to work with the things you CAN control. The fact is, you CAN’T control those moving parts. What you CAN control (as backwards as this may sound) is your *flexibility.*
Become the “master of the pivot,” as I like to say.
You’re in that job for a reason.
Believe in your ability to figure things out on the fly.
Adapt and Overcome, right? 😉
I know this is getting to be a super long message, and you mentioned something about work/life balance, too. If you’d like me to toss more thoughts (or even just a virtual high-five👋🏽), feel free to reach out to me. Whatever I/my family has as far as experience, I will offer it to you. We’re on the same team, girl! 💪🏽🇺🇸👋🏽
Wishing you ALL the best!
In your corner,
Amanda Fellows
Amanda@AmandaLFellows.com
Thanks Amanda! Yes, I've been baptized in "pivot" lol and have earned the rare title of "Mom" for my people at work. The work "kids" are my absolute focus, cuz we can't do this without them. But holy moly. I've been a section chief for going on 6 years and while I can get into a rhythm sometimes, I have been unable to figure out a real-world system to implement for the daily grind to help bring a bit of sanity.
I appreciate everything you, your husband and your family bring to the team! Thanks for sharing!
One thing that I’ve been struggling with is that I know I want a different career (I’m in teaching), one that fills my soul and heart and also provides the emotional and psychological needs I have for a job; I know what I want my life to look like in 10 years, viscerally and down to some real specific details. I don’t know how to get there. I’ve been working with a life coach who I will be leaving once I’m done with my sessions who’s literal response to my 10 year vision was, “Okay, now you need to create a road map and action plan.” I was like, “….huh?…That’s what I’m paying you for, to help me figure this out because I don’t know how to get from here to there.” And he said, “Well, I can’t really help you because this is the stuff that has to come from your soul.” Needless to say, I was very frustrated. So I would love to hear your thoughts on getting from your current reality to your 10 year vision when you know you want to leave careers, create a different one, but have literally no idea what that career would be, how to go about thinking about discovering/creating that career using your values and what not, and then how to create an action plan/road map for those big changes.
It interesting reading all the comments. I’m fairly organized and I’m realizing what I’m good at in life. Except sometimes I get that feeling I’m missing out. I would want to chat with you, Tanya, how to work through these feelings.
I think you'll like the download I'm getting ready for this week Jane! I get that feeling of missing out - what I find (for me) is that when I feel like I'm missing out it's usually because I'm trying to do things that don't actually even align with what I'm good at. It's that feeling of "should" (oh, I should do more of this... or I should be better about that). Do you think that might be the same for you? I have found that when I take the things I'm good at and go deeper with them and spend more time on what I actually love and enjoy, I feel less of the missing out. I wonder if you feel the same?
Thanks Tanya, yes your comments completely resonate with me. For the last three years I’ve been trying to be a higher level family law paralegal; however I realize that I LOVE being hybrid role. I love organizing, filing and organizing lawyer’s calendar. Part of me still feels the FOMO, but I feel happy too doing my current role assisting one lawyer.
I can’t wait for this week’s download!!